Hesitate Read online

  My heart goes out to Sadie. I know how difficult things have been since she found out she was pregnant. “Listen, if you want to try, then do it. I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

  “I know.” She wipes her eyes and then shakes her head roughly. “Okay, enough of this sappy shit. Tell me more about Q.”

  Even though I told her pretty much everything, I delve deeper and brag about how strong he is and the kind of car he drives. How good he smells and that there’s a very distinct and very large bulge behind the zipper of his jeans. We laugh together, and after she has another couple of glasses of wine and me a bottle of water, I call her a ride. Walking with her downstairs, I get the notification that they’re a minute out.

  “I love you.” She rests her head on my shoulder.

  “I love you, too. Are you sure you’re good enough to get home and let your dog out okay?”

  Headlights turn onto our street, and she straightens. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “Okay. Thank you for coming over. Text me when you get home.”

  “Of course, anytime, you know that. And I will.” I stand on the sidewalk and wait until she’s in the Uber to turn around and walk back inside. As soon as I open the door, I run into Q. I recognize his smell before my body collides with his.

  “Whoa.” He grabs my arms and tugs me inside, steadying me on my feet. “You okay?”

  I tilt my head back to find his normally relaxed face somewhat frantic. His breath is coming out in harsh pants, and his eyes are darting all around, from my face to the door and back again. “I’m fine.”

  He drops his arm and steps back, then runs a hand through his hair. He’s changed from the jeans and T-shirt he was in before and is now in a pair of gray sweatpants and a black hoodie. And he’s wearing thick rimmed glasses. How is that hot? And every woman knows exactly why gray sweatpants are about the sexiest thing a man can wear. “What are you doing?” he asks with a bite to his tone.

  My eyebrows rise, and I pull my head back. “I was walking my friend to a cab. What are you doing?”

  “Forgot something from my car.”

  My gaze drops to his bare feet, then moves up to his empty hands. “Where are your keys?”

  “Fingerprint locks.”

  “Shoes?”

  “Didn’t need ’em for heading outside for thirty seconds.” He tilts his head. “Do you think I’m lying to you?”

  “I hope you’re not.”

  He runs his tongue along his bottom lip, and then grabs my hand and leads us back to my apartment. After I unlock the door, I head inside, but when I turn around, he’s right there. I blink, and his lips are on mine, soft and sweet but also wet and delicious. Both of his hands are holding my face, and I reach up to hold his wrists so I don’t fall because his kiss makes my knees weak. He makes my belly flutter and my heart soar. He does all the good things to me, and he’s barely touched me yet. God, he’s amazing. I wish I could do this forever, just kiss him. I whimper when he separates, but open my eyes to find his so close they’re all I can see. “Lock the door behind me.”

  I blink again only to see the back of his head as he walks out and pulls the door closed behind him. My lips are still parted, but this time, they’re tilted up into a small smile, and now I’m the one breathing heavily. “Lock it, sweetheart,” he commands from the other side of the door. I flick the deadbolt, then hear his footsteps fading. As much as I want to chase after him, I resist the temptation because, like Sadie said, I need to let him do what he’s gotta do because he’s that kind of man. The kind who makes sure I’m safe. One who actually cares. The guy who treats me like a damn queen. The man of my dreams.

  Chapter 5

  Q

  “Okay, now this is just creepy.” Madeline stands in front of my treadmill and puts a hand on her slender hip, any question or hesitation from last night washed away in her sleep… thank God. I was so freaked out that she’d want nothing more to do with me after I left her confused and needy last night.

  I might be a fuckup in the relationship department, but one thing that the women I’ve been with never complained about is not getting what they need in the bedroom. And the fact that I can’t give Madeline that makes my already blue balls shrivel up because no man lets his woman go wanting. And playing this with her how I am, no matter which way you look at it, she’s mine right now, so she should not go without. And the fact that she is, is demoralizing to a man like me.

  She needs to trust me implicitly, and a part of building that trust is spending time together without having sex. As much as she wants it, I need to restrain from that as long as I can, but she’s gonna make it nearly impossible, more than it is already.

  When I got the alert last night that her front door opened, and I saw her walking downstairs with her drunk friend in the dark, I hightailed it out of my apartment without even thinking about precautions. I left all my weapons in the room I’m in and just took off. That wasn’t smart, but she scared the shit outta me. Thinking of her doing stuff like that without me there, the things that could happen to her, it’s terrifying. I should have stayed hidden and let her just go back to her place without seeing me, but if I’m gonna do my job, I need to do it thoroughly.

  I yank my earbuds out but don’t slow my pace as I smirk. “I know, you following me is creepy.”

  She bites back a smile and nibbles on her thumbnail. “Since when do you work out here?”

  “Since I moved into the apartment building a couple of blocks down, and it makes sense to come here since it’s so close…” I trail off, letting her fill in the blanks.

  “I come here three times a week, and I’ve never seen you.”

  With her tight body, it looks like she does two-a-days. “I don’t normally come in the morning, but I got distracted last night by a bejeweled raspberry-haired woman who I was lucky enough to have dinner with, so I needed to come this morning to make up for it, hence getting my workout in now instead of in the evening. I’m assuming you come at this time normally?” She comes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Monday and Friday, she does yoga, and on Wednesdays, she does spinning.

  She nods. “Yeah, I do.”

  A minute passes with her just staring at me, and the sweat gathering at my hairline drips down the side of my face. She watches it fall, and I jump to put my feet on the outside of the belt, then lean down so we’re face to face. “You might wanna contain your drool, sweetheart. I’d hate for you to slip and hurt yourself.”

  Her head snaps back like I just woke her up from a dream, and my smirk transforms into a grin. “Whatever.” She rolls her eyes, and when she starts to walk away, I grab her arm. “Yes?” she asks.

  I’ll wait until her eyes are on mine because I need to see her reaction, and her face is so expressive it gives everything away. The moment she turns her body toward me, I slide my finger down the inside of her arm over the smooth skin there and link our pinkies together. Her face softens with the light touch. “You wanna grab some coffee when you’re done?”

  “Yes, but I can’t. I won’t have time. My class is in five minutes and—”

  “Skip your class.”

  “Q.”

  I press the button to shut the treadmill off and step down. “Madeline.” I love that her face softens when I say her name.

  “I need to go to yoga.”

  I step back, and my eyes make the journey from her pretty face, down her bare neck, past her full breasts that are compressed in a tight black sports bra, past her flat stomach, down her toned legs covered only by skintight yoga pants, and then back up. “You don’t need to go to yoga.”

  She tilts her head to the side as a sexy, shy smile plays on her lips. “If I want you to keep looking at me like that, I do.”

  Perfect, I’m back in business. “You make a valid point. So how about this?” I continue without letting her answer. “After work, I’ll pick you up and take you out to dinner again so I have an excuse to sit across from you and continue looking at you like I am right
now?”

  “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

  “Kind of.”

  “Fine.” She sighs but gives me a full smile at the same time. “See you tonight.”

  She saunters away with a sway to her hips, but instead of enjoying the view, I walk over to the treadmill next to me and press the stop button. The man lurches and swings his head over to me. “What the hell?”

  “You wanna keep those eyes in your head, keep them off my girl’s ass.”

  His face blanches, and he nods, and then I resume my fast, inclined pace on the treadmill, pushing myself as hard and as fast as I can go because I need to do something to release all this pent-up frustration. The only way that’ll truly make it go away isn’t a possibility; my dick will never have the pleasure of sinking into Madeline’s tight, wet heat, so I’ll get by with the skin of my teeth.

  I hop in the shower at the gym after my run and sit in one of Royal’s Escalades, waiting for Madeline to come out. Now that she’s seen my car, one of the guys dropped off a vehicle for me to use while I’m tailing her even though I doubt she’d be aware enough of her surroundings to notice me in my car.

  She doesn’t even realize how many guys check her out, and although part of it is who her mom is, because she looks exactly like her, the other part is because she’s got a huge rack and a tight, round ass, all of which are natural. Men can’t control themselves, and it makes me insane thinking about how many greedy eyes have devoured her, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Her beauty is something that will never change.

  Once she’s in her car after going home to change, she takes a minute before she pulls out, and I wait about ten seconds until I get behind her. Following her to work, I slow to a stop on the street next to the parking lot of her school. And as I’ve done all day every day for almost two weeks now, since her mother initially hired me, I wait.

  While she’s at work, I open my laptop and get some of my work done by digging deeper into Roxy Rivers and the company she works for and the people she associates with, but I come up with nothing. Something is off. It’s bad, and it’s dangerous, but I can’t fucking figure it out, and that’s unbelievably frustrating.

  Part of the reason, my gut is telling me, is because whatever Roxy needed her address for was something that wasn’t traceable on paper. It was in her head, a plan or idea, and as much as I wish I could be, I’m not a mind reader.

  I am a literal genius, so when I can’t come up with an answer to something, it makes me insane. Solving things is what I do.

  My phone buzzes from the cupholder, and I answer it on speaker when I see who’s on the other end. “What can I do for you, Roxy?”

  “Hi. I forgot to ask you, and I know your report didn’t tell me, but did you get any of her medical history or find out if she has debt?”

  “I already told you no. I located her and gave you her address, which is all that you signed the contract for.”

  “Do you know if she’s still a virgin?”

  My jaw clamps shut, and the little buzzing that’s been poking me in the back of the neck penetrates enough to get into my blood and make it boil. Trying to keep my voice even, I tell her, “Even if I knew that information, I wouldn’t tell you.”

  “Why not?”

  “Your daughter’s sexual history is none of your business.” Not only is it none of her business, but Madeline is in her late twenties, so there is no way she’s still a virgin after all this time. But even if she was, the fact that her mother is asking about that shit is sketchy as fuck.

  “I’ll pay you to find out. Double your fee.” Funny she’d offer that since I’ve already dug into her financials and know she’s flat broke.

  I cannot believe this bitch. No wonder Madeline hasn’t spoken to her in a decade. I debate for a second telling her I’ll do it, just to buy more time, but I don’t want to drag this out any longer than it’s already taking. “Gonna have to pass,” I grit out. But I’m also gonna have to do even more work now so I can make sure her medical records are sealed tighter in case this bitch tries to hire someone else to look into it. I’ve already secured everything involving Madeline, but I’m going to go back through and do it again. Nobody needs to know that shit about my woman. I mean, Madeline isn’t mine that way, but she still is.

  “Listen, I hired you, buddy, and—”

  “You hired me to find your daughter, and that was what I did. Nowhere in our contract does it state I was to relay any personal information about her.”

  “This is unbelievable.”

  Leaning my head on the headrest, I take a deep breath so I don’t crawl through the phone and strangle her. “If that’s all, Ms. Rivers…” I hang up before she can speak again and then grip the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turn white.

  I calm my shit before I dial my buddy and co-worker, Brodie. “What’s up?”

  “If I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary for Madeline to be within arm’s reach of me, I’d do it myself, but since I need her close, I’ve gotta ask you, man, you need to step this shit up.” After I talked to Erik and Royce, I knew I wouldn’t be able to dedicate as much time as I normally would to finding out what was up with Roxy, so Brodie’s on the case too, but he hasn’t turned up anything either.

  “I’m tryin’, Q. I have eyes on the inside, and so far, it’s clean. Even though you already did it, I went through her computer and email and texts. Nothing.”

  “Something isn’t right.”

  “I know that. I believe you, bro. It’s just gonna take some more time.”

  I sit up straighter. “We don’t have it. Roxy just called me and asked if I turned up in my search if Madeline was still a virgin.”

  The line goes silent for a moment. “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ shitting me.”

  “I’m tellin’ you, whatever the fuck is going on is not good. And I have a feeling I know exactly why her mother is suddenly interested in her.”

  “I’m on it, man. I’ll fast track what I can, but just lay low until something turns up because you know it will eventually. If she’s calling you again, she’s clearly getting desperate.”

  That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.

  I hang up with him and wait impatiently for Madeline to finish work. But when it’s been a half an hour without having eyes on her, I hop out of the Escalade and do a quick round around the outside of the building, peeking into her classroom to ensure she’s still safe. Then I go back to my vehicle and wait for her to come out, relieved more than I’d like to admit when I see her, and then follow her home to make sure she gets there without incident.

  I park on the street again and get out just as she is, keeping to the shadows and corners so she doesn’t see me. There hasn’t been any sign of a direct threat to her, but that doesn’t mean I’m not vigilant as hell and make sure to keep it that way.

  Once she’s inside her apartment, I head to mine next door and take a piss and then change my clothes. I hear her turn her pipes on and the image of her naked with water sliding down her body makes my dick hard. Remembering how fucking good she tasted makes it steel. And under any other circumstances, I’d totally jack off, but because I know exactly how this is going to end, I suffer the consequences of blue balls as my penance for breaking her heart.

  I open my laptop and triple check the things I’ve already gone over with a fine-tooth comb only to turn up jack shit yet again. I slam the computer closed and roll my shoulders, trying to relieve some of the tension. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this frustrated with a case. When it’s finally time to go and see her again, I make sure my weapons are concealed and then lock my door before knocking on hers.

  Madeline

  I open my door and spin back around, waving my hand in the air. “Sorry, I’m running late. Grab a beer or something, and I’ll be ready in less than… umph.” My chest slams into Q’s when he grabs my arm and whips me around.

  “First…” He slides his hands down my hips and cups m
y behind lightly. “You look amazing.”

  All I’m wearing is a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a halter top that’s pink. It brings out the pink in my lips, and the color looks awesome with my hair. “Thank you.”

  “Second, you don’t need to rush. I have a reservation, but it’s not for another half an hour.”

  “Oh.”

  “And third…” The tips of his fingers flex in my ass, and he tugs me even closer to him. My hands are forced to slide up his chest and wrap around his neck, which I am certainly not complaining about. “Kiss me, sweetheart.”

  Not wanting to waste a second, I push up on my toes and put pressure on the back of his head for him to lean down, and then press my lips against his. I tilt my head and slide my tongue along the seam of his lips, only to find it pushed back in my mouth by his. He growls and slants his head, deepening the kiss and gripping the flesh of my backside, teasing me with small thrusts of his hard cock against my belly. I whimper at the feel of him, desperate for him to be inside me, and he nips at my lower lip before resting his head against mine. Both of us pant, our lips brushing and eyes boring into the other’s. “Hi,” he finally whispers.

  “Hi.”

  “Don’t know what else you could possibly do to become more beautiful, but if you feel you must, have at it.” He gives me a peck on the cheek, then pries us apart.

  He’s so damn sweet. “I won’t be long.” I turn and walk away on shaky legs, his fingertips only dropping when I take a step in the direction of my bedroom. It’s as if he wants to touch me every single second that he can, and I freaking love it.